15 Reasons Beach Sex is Actually the Worst
There are a lot of different ways you can get creative with sex. Sex toys are one easy way to ~*spice up*~ your sex life. If you don’t want to spend any money, you can try different sex positions or you could try having sex in another place.
Simply switching up where you get it on can totally change your sex life. Even if you’re doing the same moves, the fresh environment can make things seem even hotter than normal. But, picking the right spot is key. If you pick the wrong spot, your sexy hookup can turn out to be an epic failure.
I’ve previously talked about why car sex and outdoor sex are overrated. Now, I’m talking about beach sex. Everybody loves the beach so you might think that it’s a good spot to hookup. In reality, it can be uncomfortable, awkward, and not sexy at all. Of course, we cannot forget about some the legalities of getting it on at the beach. While considering that, here are 15 reasons why beach sex is actually the worst:
1. The beach is a very open space.
There’s nowhere to hide.
2. You never know what’s going to wash ashore.
Hold up, something is on my foot and I don’t know what it is.
3. It’s a bit too wet.
Getting water in your eyes and ears isn’t hot.
4. Sand will get in every orifice.
Just think about how much sand you end up with in your swimsuit on a regular beach day…
5. You will spend ages looking for a good spot for your clothes.
If we put our stuff here, do you think it will wash out to sea?
6. A big wave will likely come and splash you.
Where did that come from?
7. Sand actually isn’t that comfortable.
Ouch. Pretty sure I just cut my leg on a shell.
8. You will be distracted by some surprising critters.
What the heck was that creepy crawling thing? Tell me that wasn’t a jellyfish…or an eel.
9. The beach isn’t as clean as you think it is.
Might have to get a tetanus shot now that I’ve rolled over an empty bottle, can, and a half-eaten sandwich.
10. The beach ~*really*~ isn’t as clean as you think it is.
OMG. Someone please tell me that is from an animal.
11. If someone sees you, there’s nowhere to plan your escape.
You can’t go underwater and hold your breath for five hours.
12. Getting it on in the water is impossible.
The current is in charge.
13. Someone will choke on a mouthful of water.
Talk about romance.
14. There’s always some random person at the beach, no matter what time it is.
Um, is that random guy going to go away? Has he come here purposely to watch?
15. You’ll spend the next few days showering trying to remove all the sand.
How is there still more?!
Thanks for reading!
Would you hook up on the beach? Sound off in the comments
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