How many times has someone said to you, “You won’t be able to fully understand until you experience it for yourself?” No matter how many times you’ve heard it, I’m betting you were probably peeved off each time you heard it, right? It’s not meant to be an insult to your intelligence or empathy levels. It’s just that we usually can’t imagine the full scope or impact of something until we’re in the situation. It’s something that applies to dating and relationships.
You probably have an idea of what things are like from hearing friends talk about their experiences and from TV, but it’s a different thing when your heart and feelings are involved. It would be nice if we could realize some of the lessons without suffering, but that’s not always the case when it comes to dating. Often, you need to learn those dating lessons the hard way to realize what you want in a relationship and a SO.
Here are nine dating lessons that you might have to learn the hard way to fully understand them.
1. Just Because You Have A Crush Doesn’t Mean They’ll Be a Good Partner
It’s a painful thing when you realize that the person you’ve been dreaming about for months has feelings for you, but they aren’t actually a good SO. There comes a point where you realize that the person you’ve been daydreaming about isn’t quite the same person in real life. Sometimes, you’re cool with the situation. Other times, you realize that the crush you thought was so great really isn’t. Image source: Instagram/jamaicanqt808
2. You Can’t Force a Connection
If only it were true, but it’s not. You might really want a relationship with someone, and he/she might really want a relationship with you, but at the end of the day all that wanting isn’t going to be enough to build a relationship on. You have to have that spark. And without that, you better at least hope there’s enough common ground to form a friendship. Image source: Instagram/fernhomeandfashion
3. Some People Have Absolutely NO Dating Etiquette
It would be nice if everyone— good and bad dates — behaved civilly when going out. Unfortunately, you will likely come across people who have absolutely no manners when it comes to dating or anything else. They will make your jaw drop open with how rude and out of touch they are. You will probably wonder want kind of manners their mamas and papas taught them. Unfortunately, it’s a situation that you will have to live through to believe it. Image source: Instagram/alyunae
4. You Cannot Change a Person
This is a hard lesson that people learn in relationships. But, it’s something that you might discover while you’re dating. You might be getting to know someone and things might be going good. Then they might drop a bombshell on you that will make you completely reevaluate things. It could be about their beliefs, opinions, or the way they want this relationship to go. And talking about it probably isn’t going to make them change their mind and see your way. Image source: Instagram/alinab_art
5. Just Because You Both Have Feelings for Each Other Doesn’t Mean a Relationship
You have feelings. The other person has feelings. What could be the problem? You’d be surprised. There are actually a number of things that could get in the way of all those feelings turning into a relationship. It doesn’t seem very logical when talking about it, but when you’re actually in the situation, you will see why. I know it’s irritating you couldn’t see it earlier, but that’s life. Image source: Instagram/melody_pond85
6. People Don’t Necessary Look Llke Their Profile Picture
You can thank modern technology and dating apps for this one. You likely know that people only post their best selfies out of 1,000 they took. And they probably have used the best filters and lighting. As much as you’re ready for a difference in real life, you aren’t fully ready for just how big that difference can be. Thinking you’re meeting the wrong person on a date a few times will help you learn the lesson. Image source: Instagram/eb.burns
7. You Can Have Lots To Talk About; But No Chemistry, or Vice Versa
This is actually two lessons depending on what side you fall under. I’m lumping them under one point because the common theme is that just because you and a person have a strong bond one way, doesn’t mean you’re going to have it in another way. And having only half of a bond likely isn’t going to result is a proper relationship. Image source: Instagram/jendayira
8. If Someone Has a Bad Reputation, It’s Probably True
This is another hard lesson that you could learn from dating or from being in a relationship. I want to say that it’s better to learn in the dating stages because you won’t have as much invested, but it actually sucks no matter when you learn it. You might think that all of the stuff is rumors. Or, you might agree some of it is real but you will be the girl to finally turn the person around. In the end, you could end up burned. Image source: Instagram/marvic220
9. You Can Meet a Perfect Potential Parnter; But it Might be the Wrong Time
People like to focus a lot of the connection. That’s obviously a huge part about dating, but it’s not the only thing. External factors can sometimes be the things to get you. You could meet the most incredible person, but timing can prevent you from taking things to the next level. Ugh. Image source: Instagram/chiaraspiga
What dating lessons have you learned the hard way? Let us know in the comments!