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In a perfectly romantic world, every relationship that began would last forever in a happy bubble. As I’m sure many of you know well, this is not how things go. Many relationships, most of them, some would argue, end in heartbreak. While the breakup is probably the toughest thing to go through, I would say that the moment of realization that your relationship is doomed comes pretty damn close. The end of a relationship is usually the saddest – the weeks or months of trying to make things work, even though you both know they probably won’t, clinging to hope something will change, and then finally accepting that it’s over. It’s tough!

But maybe it would be a little less tough if you knew what signs to look out for, so that you could end things faster – rip off the band-aid, as they say. Being without the person sucks in the beginning, but it sucks just as much to be with someone in an empty, hopeless way. If you know the signs that the end is near, it’s harder to convince yourself that everything is fine. When I was in college, I had to end a four year relationship that wasn’t working anymore. Because I had genuinely believed we were going to last forever, it took me close to a year to finally break up with him. I felt all the signs mentioned below, but kept convincing myself that they were normal and would go away, and that’s part of the reason our breakup was so drawn out. So, to keep you from doing the same thing, here are a few signs that your relationship is doomed:

There Is A Very Specific Reason You’re Still With This Person

Ask yourself honestly why you’re still dating this person. Is there a specific reason other than, “I love him/her and they make me so happy and I don’t want to be without them?” Like, for example, is the first reason that pops into your head one of these: 1. “If I break up with them, I’ll be single and alone and that scares me.” 2. “If I dump them right now, I won’t have a date to this upcoming wedding/prom/school dance/will have to cancel the vacation we planned.”” 3. “We live together and breaking up will be so complicated!” 4. “My parents/friends will be so sad if we break up.” You get it. If the main reason you’re still with this person is because of anything other than “I love them and they make me happy,” your relationship isn’t going to last. And be honest with yourself, please! Source: iStock

You Spend A Lot Of Time Imagining What Life Would Be Like Without Them

Everyone who has been in a long-term relationship knows that they have their moments where they wonder what their life would be like without their significant other. If you’re genuinely happy with the person, the daydreaming ends in a way that shows you you’d be happier with them. If your relationship is doomed, the daydreaming probably happens very often – and probably gives you a hint that life might be better without bae. When I knew I wanted to break up with my ex, I thought about life without him all the time, and sometimes I really, really wanted that life – but then I would get scared, and convince myself I didn’t. Again, be honest with yourself. If a relationship is going to last, you won’t constantly be thinking about life without it. Source: iStock

One Of You Is Leaving Soon

Are you guys seniors, going off to different colleges in different states next year? Is one of you planning on moving for some other reason in the next few months? I’m not saying it’s impossible to maintain a long-distance relationship, but when one or both people go through a major life change, other things change as well. It’s hard to maintain a relationship when you’re both going off to college in different places – really hard! And it’s not impossible, but chances are good that it won’t work. Source: iStock

Everything You Guys Do Together Feels Boring

Anyone who has ever been in a long-term relationship will admit that sometimes things feel boring. I’ve been with my fiance for seven years, and every once in a while I’m like, “Ugh, all we do is watch Netflix!” But then we go out and do something else or something and we have fun and that bored feeling disappears like it never happened. But if you always feel like being with this other person is boring and predictable, that could be a big problem. Relationships shouldn’t be boring, they should be fun. And you should feel okay with watching a lot of Netflix together because you simply enjoy being together – I feel like most of the time! Not to make this all about *me* but when I was with my ex, things started to feel that way. It didn’t matter what we did or where we went, I was always bored with him. I imagined life would be more exciting if I were doing anything else, and he wasn’t holding me back – and it became a huge issue. Source: iStock

You’ve Started To Blame Them For Things That Honestly Aren’t Really Their Fault

That little story brings me to my next point: if resentment has crept its way into your relationship, then things definitely aren’t looking good. Are you starting to silently blame your significant other for all the crappy things in your life? For example, when I was with my ex, I made him my whole life, and lost a lot of friends. Towards the end, I spent a lot of time thinking about how much better my life would be if I still had those friends, and how it was all his fault I didn’t – when really, it was my fault. I would get so angry at him! Maybe you feel bitter towards your bae if you stayed home from college for them, or if you missed out on certain things to be with them. It could be anything, but if you feel resentment towards them very often, that’s definitely not good. Source: iStock

Every Fight Leads Back To The Same Issue

One big sign that a relationship is doomed is that you guys are fighting over stupid stuff all the time. Another big sign is that every fight, no matter how small, somehow leads to a bigger issue that always gets brought up. Maybe a fight about cancelled plans turns into the same argument you’ve had about them lying to you about something in the past. Maybe a dumb argument about TV reminds you both to fight about that last time one of you betrayed the other one. Whatever the big issue it is, it keeps coming back to haunt you both no matter what. This means one, or both of you, are holding onto something huge – and you can’t move forward if you can’t move past it. Source: iStock

You’re Constantly Jealous Of Your Single Friends

The grass is always greener, right? Sure – but if you’re in a happy, committed relationship, you won’t be spending a lot of time feeling jealous of your single friends. Every once in a while, I’ll kind of miss being single, but then I look at my fiance and think, “OMG no I’d so much rather be with him” and I get happy. But when I was with my ex, I would feel incredibly jealous of my single friends and their lifestyle – so much that I started obsessing over it and pretending it was happening sometimes. This means you want to be single!! Source: iStock

You’ve Recently Met Someone You Connect To On A Deeper Emotional Level

Have you recently become friends with another guy (or girl) and you feel a seriously deep emotional connection to them? Maybe you tell them things before you tell your S.O. Maybe you call them first when you’re bored. Maybe you feel like they understand you better, like they just know you better. This is, uh, not good. It means you’re lacking something in your relationship, and maybe it’s not going to get fixed. Source: iStock

You’ve Stopped Caring About Their Feelings As Much

Think honestly about how you feel when you argue with them. Imagine getting in a huge fight, storming away, and leaving them crying or angry. What do you do? Spend some time feeling guilty about it and wonder how you can make things right? Or do you text a friend, go out and have fun, and do your own thing, with little to no thought about your bae is doing until much later on? Do you ignore their texts with barely a second thought? Do you bail on them at the last minute without really caring if they get mad? All of these things mean you don’t really care as much about their feelings as you once did, and that means that things are going downhill. Source: iStock

You’ve Started To Have A Crush On Someone Else

Okay, here’s a big one: if you’ve started to have a crush on someone else – not a harmless crush, but a real crush – that’s a big sign your relationship is doomed. You don’t start to fall for someone else if you’re perfectly happy and in love. When I was with my ex, I started to have a crush on another guy. At first, I made myself think it was innocent, but I soon realized it really wasn’t. It’s a big part of why our relationship ended. It’s really hard to stay with someone when your heart is with someone else. Source: iStock

You can follow the author, Jessica Booth, on Twitter or Instagram.

10 Little Things That Slowly Destroy Good Relationships

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