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When you’re in a relationship, it’s natural that you want to make sure things are progressing in the way they’re *supposed* to. The trouble is what you’re *supposed* to be doing can be interpreted differently by you, bae, your friends, family, social media, and about 18,358 other places.

Sometimes, you might think that you and bae aren’t hitting big milestones that you should have by now. Maybe you’re on the opposite end of the spectrum and are concerned that things are moving too quickly. If you’re nodding your head to the second option, here are some things to consider.

I’m worried my relationship is moving too fast. How do I know bae and I are going at the right pace?

From the sounds of it, you might be hung up on some sort of rules about how relationships are supposed to progress. Maybe, you’re going off your friends’ relationships, relationships from TV, or advice from friends and family. It really isn’t so much a question of whether your relationship is moving too fast, but if you think it’s moving too fast for you and bae. It’s a slight difference but can totally change things.

It’s hard not to compare my relationship to others and see where they’re at … Guidelines are helpful.

I get it. We can sometimes feel insecure about our relationships even if we’re in an amazing, loving, caring relationship. That’s why we look to others as a sort of checkpoint to see how we compare. As humans, we’re competitive creatures who compare ourselves by nature, but it really doesn’t help. It won’t help with your relationship and comparing won’t help in other aspects of life.

The thing is that all relationships are unique and they all go at their own pace. It’s up to you to decide what you’re comfortable with and try and stick with that. Secondly, you have to consider whether you’re moving at pace that’s comfortable for your SO and the two of your together.

But, aren’t there guidelines? For example, you don’t want to say “I love you” too early, right?

I said it before and I’ll say it again: Everyone is different. If you’re unsure if something is right, try to block out all of the white noise around you and consider how you feel in your heart. If you feel that something is the right time for you and your SO, what have you go to lose? What’s the worst that could happen in saying it? If you’re in a good relationship, you should feel comfortable expressing your feelings and being honest with bae.

What if I do something and bae gets totally freaked out?

I have another question for you? What if you do or say something and your SO is totally into it? I doubt you’re a mind reader or a predictor of the future, so you don’t know 100 percent how something will go down unless you try it. Keeping in mind what I said about following your heart and decide whether you want to say something.

If bae does get freaked out and you’re in a good relationship, you should be able to talk through the situation and come to a better understanding about your relationship and how it’s progressing. If things do go sour after you express your feelings, at least you can say you were honest, stayed true to yourself, and let bae know how you truly felt.

What if I think my SO is making things progress too quickly?

Honesty is the best policy in 99.9999 percent of relationship situations and that applies here. If you think that bae is moving too fast in any sort of situation whether it’s emotional, physical, or some other thing, do not stay quiet. It’s important that you communicate and let bae know how you feel. Know that you shouldn’t be ashamed in doing so. Most importantly, your significant other should consider how you feel and adapt so you will be comfortable at the pace of your relationship. You should never feel pressured into something in your relationship if you’re not ready. Stand your ground.

What do you do if you think your relationship is getting too serious too fast? Let us know in the comments!