Guy friends can be pretty great. They can be hilarious, fun to hang around, and we can pick their brains to figure out what our crush’s confusing signals really mean. They can be a great addition to any friendship squad, but things can sometimes get a bit complicated when one (or both) of you gets into a relationship.
Sometimes, a new bae might not understand the (platonic) relationship you and your guy friend have. A new bae could feel threatened or jealous. Another problem you can encounter is when your guy friend gets a girlfriend that you don’t like. It can be especially awkward if your guy friend wants you to hang out with his GF. Here’s what to do if one of your guy friends has a new girlfriend, but you don’t really like her.
Help! I don’t like my good guy friend’s girlfriend and I don’t know what to do.
Sorry to hear. I know it’s an awkward situation to be in. One of the first things you should do is try and figure out why you don’t like her. Be honest with yourself here. Is it the idea of her that you don’t like or is it the actual person? For example, are you not into the idea of your guy friend having a girlfriend because you feel threatened and you’re concerned he’ll spend all his time with her from now on? Or, do actually not like her because of her actions and/or personality?
I’m concerned that he might not hang out with me as much, but it’s her as a person I’m not so keen on.
It is a genuine concern that anyone in a new relationship might lose sight of their current friends and family. Sometimes, they don’t even realize they’re doing it. Maybe you’ve even done it yourself. Remember, that you two have a great connection and your guy friend will eventually realize he’s not giving you enough attention.
As for dealing with the new girlfriend that you’re not feeling, have you given her a chance? Have you hung out with her a couple of times? Have you hung out just the two of you? Are your opinions of her based on experiences or on rumors you’ve heard from other people? Even if she doesn’t seem like the best person, try to give her a chance. It’s likely she’s nervous and we all know that nerves can make people behave weirdly. She might also be intimidated by you and be stressed you’re not going to like her, but she’s not sure what to do. So, try and take the lead and reach out to her.
What should I do?
If you’re hanging out in a group situation, make an effort to make her feel included. If there are people that she doesn’t know, introduce her to them. Try to avoid taking her to have a “quiet chat” because she will probably find that really intimidating and think you’re going to give the old “you break his heart, I will not be cool with it” talk. Let’s avoid those discussions for now.
Down the road if you feel like you’ve got a friendship budding, you can suggest hanging out in relaxed setting. Invite her to a yoga class or to grab a coffee.
What should I do if I have a problem with her intentions?
This is a tricky one. Has she done something to your guy friend directly or has she done anything to affect him negatively? Crucially, have you seen it yourself or are you basing it off of what other people say? It’s hard because you want to protect your guy friend, but you also don’t want to overact to something because that could make things unnecessarily awkward and kill any chance of you being a dynamic trio.
Should I tell my guy friend how I feel?
If it’s just her personality that you’re not into, think carefully before you bring it up to your guy friend. He obviously sees something great in her and maybe you just haven’t been around her long enough to see it. On the flip side, he could be blinded by love and not see what’s going on.
If you’ve been hanging out with your guy friend’s new girlfriend for a while and you still don’t seem to be bonding, you might want to consider asking your friend about his GF’s interests or past times and explain you’re looking for ways to get to know her better. It will show you’re interested and trying but it won’t make things awkward.
If you are thinking this girl is shady and you have the proof for yourself, you will have to consider what to do with the information. You want to protect your friend, but you don’t want to be coming to him with a “what if, just in case” scenario. FYI: Even if you’re the messenger, it’s sometimes the messenger who gets hit and your guy friend could be offended and/or embarrassed about what you reveal. The bottom line is that if you want to protect your guy friend, go with your gut decision.
What do you do if you don’t like one of your guy friends’ girlfriends? Let us know in the comments!
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